Three Years

To be honest after our last let down I was convinced that adoption was going to the direction we were next heading. I got excited and started doing more and more research.

I thought that the best bet for Chris and I would be private adoption as we are hoping to get a baby or very young child. One of the things I was most shocked about was the wait time. It is typically taking couples 3 years to be able to adopt a child.

Three years!

Unfortunately, every year this wait time is getting longer and longer. I think a lot of the reason for this is better availability of birth control, many young girls are now deciding to raise their children as there is less of a stigma as there was in the past, and of course more may be having abortions.

The lady that I was talking to did mention that if we were open to taking in a child whose mother drank alcohol or did drugs while pregnant we would have a better chance of getting a child earlier.

Another thing that I was surprised about was the cost. It costs around $15 000 by the time all is said and done. $5000 is on counseling alone.

To be honest, it was these two things time and cost that made Chris and I decide not to go with this option... at least not now.

Update: I also talked to someone who adopted through the public system and found out it took them FOUR years to be able to adopt their children!

Beating a Dead Horse

Beat a Dead Horse- to waste time doing something that has already been attempted.

-Cambridge Dictionary of American Idioms 

 As I mentioned in my last post there are several different options that I researched in trying to figure out what would be the best next step for Chris and I to take.  

One of the options would be for us to continue trying IUI rounds with the hopes of getting enough eggs to be able to switch to IVF. The problem with this is that each round costs around $3000 and each time we have tried I have only gotten between 3 or 4 follicles.

I have been put onto the maximum amount of medications that can safely be administered and last attempt we even tried to add DHEA and C0-Q10.

When I talked with my doctor after our last failed cycle she did have some good news. Although I didn't produce very many egg follicles my body did produce a thick lining and my hormone levels were good. Unfortunately, she did conclude that it didn't seem as though my body is going to produce enough eggs to make IVF viable.

Weighing all the information we made the difficult decision to not try IUI / IVF again. Perhaps if we had unlimited money we would keep trying, but honestly even then I don't know if we would. We have been trying for almost 2 years and we haven't gotten any closer to success.

 

Research

After our last let down I have spent hours and hours researching all the different options that are still available for us.

I wish I had know / had more information about some of these options earlier, although maybe I've needed to go through all these stages in order to get to the place I am now.

Hopefully this information will help someone else who is just starting out on this journey. Maybe it will help them to make some decisions and perhaps save them some time!

Option 1- Continue trying IUI / IVF

Option 2- Adoption- both regular and private

Option 3- Embryo Adoption

Option 4- Egg donation

I gathered a lot of information in the past month and to prevent writing a ridiculously long post I have decided to write a separate post for each option. I will also fill you in on which Chris and I finally decided to choose.

I should also mention that there is of course also...

Option 5- Live without Children

But honestly this really isn't an option for us right now as Chris and I are not ready to give up!

Bad News

Bad news... it didn't work... again! 

My heart is broken and I think I'm in disbelief. I really hoped that it was going to work for us.

I'm sorry I didn't update sooner, but after I had the IUI procedure done I went home to visit with my family. I didn't bring my laptop with me and I enjoyed just spending time with everyone.

At first I was hopeful then the lower back pain started and I knew it hadn't worked yet again.

The hardest part was having to tell Chris.

I'm back in Calgary now just trying to build myself up and figure out what our next steps are going to be.

One More Day

So much has happened since my last post.

I went in on Thursday to have another ultrasound and to have my blood work taken. Yet again I found out that my follicles are growing...
growing slowly, but still growing!

The doctor told me he thought they would be big enough to trigger Friday night and therefore have my IUI on Sunday. He asked me to come in on Friday morning (today) for another ultrasound, but that I didn't need to get the blood work taken. I was told I wouldn't have to get a number and wait, but instead they made an appointment for me for 9:25 a,m.

Later that afternoon, I received a phone call that the doctor changed his mind and wanted me to go in for both the blood work and the ultrasound. So my appointment was cancelled and instead I would need to go when the doors opened at 6:00 a.m. to get a number.

Of course when they called I was working and I didn't really process anything. It wasn't until afterwards that I started worrying that they might had found something in my blood work that made him want me to have it taken again.

After work I noticed I had a message on my phone. When I listened to the message it was from someone at the Regional Fertility Clinic. The message mentioned that they wanted me to get the blood work taken and that she wanted to go over the dosages of medication I was taking...

Dosages?

The person I spoke to on the phone hadn't mentioned any change in dosages so of course my mind began spinning yet again. When I tried to call back my call went straight to their answering service. I left a message, but didn't hear back from anyone.

Not sure what to do I just took my regular dosages and hoped for the best!

This morning I woke up with a start at 5:18 and realized I had forgotten to set my alarm the night before. I quickly got ready and drove to the clinic. I was shocked to discover I was going to be fourth in line.

Thank goodness I got fourth as it was extremely busy and I ended up getting to work just as the bell was ringing.

During my ultrasound I was relieved to learn that my follicles had continued growing and that I was ready to trigger. I was a little disappointed to learn that three more follicles had started growing, but that all but one would be too small. (I was disappointed because I had originally hoped to get 5 or 6 follicles so we could switch to IVF- unfortunately my extras came too late.)

With the extra one that might grow large enough I have four follicles... and hopefully four healthy eggs!

Tonight at midnight I will need to take my trigger shot.

Trigger shot- " injection of a medication called HCG, which causes the eggs to complete the maturation process. This is taken only once in the cycle. Release of the eggs should occur about 36-46 hours after the shot."                                          

 - Advanced Fertility Center of Chicago

Then Chris will go into the clinic Sunday morning to give his sperm sample to be washed and I will go in at 1:30 to have the IUI procedure. 

One more day and then it will be completely out of our hands.

Still Growing

This morning I had another appointment to check my blood work and see how my follicles are growing.

And I found out they are growing... albeit slowly!

So they wrote me another prescription for the next couple of days and they want me to go back on Thursday for another ultrasound and blood work.

So there is still hope.

I can't help but think about the phrase 'slowly but surely.'

Hopefully my follicles will slowly but surely grow and mature.
Day 12, shots 37

Still Hoping

On Saturday I went in for yet another ultrasound and to have my blood work taken.

I was happy to learn that my follicles have grown, albeit slowly.

The doctor on call was so sweet and was trying to be so positive. As she came into the room she said:

 "Three follicles! The perfect number we like to see for an IUI';"

not knowing of course that I had been hoping to have enough follicles to switch to IVF. When I mentioned this she said that next time they just have to increase my amounts... again not realizing that I'm already on the highest dose.

But as I keep reminding myself there is still hope. Although, things didn't go as I had initially wanted, there is still a chance that this round will work.

So tomorrow morning I go in again for another ultrasound and to get my blood work taken.

Hopefully my follicles are still growing...

Hopefully there are some healthy eggs growing inside...

Hopefully those eggs mature...

Hopefully this third round is the lucky round we have been waiting for!

Day 11, Shots 33