It is raining today which perfectly matches my mood.
I don't have a good feeling about the success of this cycle. I continue to have lower back pain which I always get the week before I start my period. Yesterday I also noticed a slight discolouration in my discharge (sorry if this is too much information).
It isn't looking good.
I'm trying not to get too discouraged, but to be honest I'm not succeeding.
This morning, I calculated how much we've spent on this cycle. With the refund we received we ended up paying $1700 for the medicated IUI. We also paid $1268.63 for all the different drugs. That makes a total of $2968.63.
Our refund of $5965.00, would cover two more similar rounds.
I just don't know whether or not this is what we should do.
Part of me wonders when we should begin looking at alternatives. I still desperately want Chris and I to have our own biological children, however, I'm beginning to wonder if it is in the cards for us.
The hardest part is
not knowing.
If I knew for sure it would work for us I could keep going indefinitely until it happens, but if it isn't going to work I'd rather just move on to the next step.
I wish someone could tell me either way.
I'm grateful that Chris is coming home this evening so that we can talk about all this. He will also be here when I go in for my blood work, although he won't be here for the results. Because of that, I've decided that I will do a home pregnancy test the morning of my blood work.
So two more days... four until I get the official results.
