Choosing Our Egg Donor

If you have ever tried online dating then you have an idea

how strange and bizarre it is to choose an egg donor.

Once Chris and I paid our registration fee and had all our tests completed we were given full access to the available donors at My Egg Bank.

We were then able to narrow down the donors according to their race, hair colour, eye colour, and even blood type. Once it was narrowed down we could then click and read a medical history, personal questionnaire and even see photos of the donor as a child.

Chris and I had many conversations about the criteria we wanted to use in order to choose our donor eggs.

The top things that we were looking for were:

good health history, appearance and intelligence!

To clarify by appearance we were looking for someone who looked as much like me as possible. We searched for someone with the same hair and eye colour, as well as a similar height.

For intelligence, Chris wanted it to be someone who shared my love of literature and the arts... as he said there will be enough of an analytical engineer brain coming from him!

After searching for several days we narrowed it down to two candidates: one that was most like me physically, and a second that wrote the most amazing responses.

We ended up going with the donor who had, what we felt, were the most heart felt answers. The answer that really sealed our decision was the one in which she was asked why she was donating.

In her response she talked about focusing on her career and perhaps needed to use the program in the future. She also talked about the fact that she was not raised by her biological father, and therefore, understands that "parental love transcends genetics". She went on to say "Genetics aren't what binds the parent-child relationship, love and nurturing are."

Honestly is that not the best response ever?!

Embryo Adoption

Chris and I are on the embryo adoption wait list. 

What is Embryo adoption?

Well when couples go through IVF, the woman will often produce over 10 eggs. This means there are sometimes extra embryos that remain after the first transfer and are frozen for later use. If a couple is able to have all the children they want and still have embryos remaining they may choose to donate their remaining embryos to couples who are unable to conceive. 

This allows other couples to experience pregnancy and the birth of a child. It also allows them to raise a child from birth. These are typically closed adoptions in which the genetic parents sign over all rights to their embryos.

Initially I was so excited for Chris and I to get into this program.  

Some things I didn't realize were:

The wait time. You are on a wait list for a year and a half to two years.

The success rate. The success rate is only around 33%. (At first I was ok with this as it is higher than our chances with my eggs, however, it is still less than a 50% chance of success). The reason the rate is lower is that couples will have chosen the best embryos for themselves and donate the remaining which are typically of a lower quality.

So if you haven't already guessed, although Chris and I are still on the wait list for this, we have decided to purchase eggs from the States. More details in my next post.

Third Time`s the Charm

Third time`s the charm- Used to express the hope that, after twice failing to accomplish something, one may succeed in the third attempt.  

  -Oxford dictionaries

Well here we go again!

After having a 55 day cycle last time, this month was only a 19 day cycle! 

When I started my period yesterday I called in to the period hotline right away, and they called me back a couple of hours later to tell me to go in today to get my baseline ultrasound and blood work. 

I honestly think I was a little bit in shock. After all the waiting it was finally here and I was (am)  filled with an overwhelming mix of emotions.

All ultrasounds and blood work at the Regional Fertility Clinic are on a first come, first served basis starting at 7:30 a.m.  The doors to the Cambrian Centre, however, open at 6:00 a.m. and you can get a number and then go back later. 

This morning I got there at 6:03 and got... the number 8!

Apparently there are some very early risers this round! I have never gotten a number so high before and I was nervous that I would be late for work, but luckily I was able to get everything done and still get to work before 9:00.

Instead of waiting in my car, driving to the Tim Horton`s and working on report cards or reading a book, this time I went for a walk. I really enjoyed it so I think it will be my new norm. 

If you have been following my blog you will know that I typically have a cyst on one of my ovaries and this time was no exception. My right ovary was fine, however, the did see a small 0.9 cyst or left over follicle on my left ovary. The doctor assured me that it was nothing to worry about. It is only if they are 1.5 or above that they worry that it might interfere with the cycle.

Tomorrow I will start my injections. I need to take them between 1:00 p.m. and 5:00 p.m.and at the same time each day. I think I am going to take them around 4:00 p.m. Last time they asked me to take them at 1:00, which was fine, but it meant I had to take them at school. I`d rather take them at home in the privacy of my own bathroom if possible. I`ll just have to be careful to make sure I leave work right away so I`m not late taking it.

Here`s hoping that this is lucky number three for us!

It's Official

I got the call from the clinic this morning confirming that I am not

pregnant. 

The lady I was talking to was very kind and let me know that I should stop taking the Endrometrin and low dose Aspirin. She also told me that my period should start within a week or two.

Having found that out I've decided to go home to visit my family right away. I had been thinking I would wait until after our anniversary, but Chris is able to get that week off so he will come out and join me. 

Going home now won't interfere with my next appointment at the clinic or prevent us from trying again my next cycle.

I am also looking forward to going home as I know I will be surrounded by the love and comfort of my family. It'll be good to get away.

B.F.N.

Chris and I took a home pregnancy test this morning and unfortunately...

it was a BFN or a big fat negative!

To be honest I wasn't surprised, but I am so very disappointed.

As soon as I started experiencing lower back pain I knew that this wasn't going to be our month, although, part of me was hoping that I was wrong.

So after a long cry, I am now beginning the process of building myself back up again.

I am grateful that I did experience the lower back pain so that I had a bit of a warning that it wasn't going to work this month. As painful as it was to see the negative test this morning; I can't imagine how I would have felt if I didn't have any pre-warning at all.

Tomorrow morning I will get the official call from the fertility clinic and I am hoping I'll also be able to book an appointment to discuss next steps.

Chris and I already discussed that we are going try again. I think that we will have to wait a month or two, but I'll have to wait to see for sure. I guess I'll have more information once I get to talk with our doctor.

I  have to say I am looking forward to having the next few weeks off... And I definitely will not miss taking the Endometrin three times a day or all its lovely side effects!

In the meantime I will try and eat as healthy as I can and start up a more intense workout routine. Hopefully, that will help me to focus on something else for a change and give a much needed break.

Questions, Questions and More Questions

Can I have a glass of wine, drink caffeine, get a pedicure, manicure, wear nail polish, use essential oils, or dye my hair? What should and shouldn’t I be eating? Is it ok to take Advil for my headache or should I only take Tylenol? Are hot tubs and hot baths ok? 

Why did my injection bleed this evening when it didn't this morning...?

These are only some of the millions of questions that constantly run through my head- most annoyingly as I’m trying to fall asleep at night. The problem is whenever I try to find out the answers to any of these questions I can never seem to find a straightforward answer. 

Every site I visit on the Internet has conflicting answers, and although I like the doctors and nurses at the Calgary Regional Fertility Program, I don’t always find that they explain everything clearly. Unfortunately, I don’t think of or even know the questions to ask until I’m already home from my appointment.

That is one of the reasons why I started reading other women’s IVF blogs. I wanted to read what they were doing and what their doctors were saying. By reading their blogs not only did I start to get some answers, but more importantly I started to feel less alone. 

No matter how supportive your friends and family are they truly don't understand what you are going through because they haven't experienced it themselves. Even my husband doesn't truly get it because he isn't the one who is having to give himself injections or go for internal ultrasounds and blood work constantly. He isn't the one who is 41 and is the most likely candidate of why we had our miscarriage and haven't gotten pregnant since. 

But I am lucky because I do have him, a loving family, and amazing friends who do their best to be there for me. And when they don’t know the answers and can’t completely understand all I have to do is turn on my computer and instantly I have access to hundreds of other women who are also living through infertility and the roller coaster ride of IVF!