Higher

Wednesday morning, in the middle of working, I finally got the call to let me know the results of my blood work.

At first they simply said they wanted me to continue taking my meds.

When I inquired about my HCG levels the nurse told me that they had raised again. With further inquiry I found out they rose to 2139.

When I asked whether those numbers were o.k., she responded that they were rising well, but that we would know more after my ultrasound.

So here I remain in limbo.

I have an appointment with my family doctor tomorrow to let him know what is happening. (The Regional Fertility Clinic advised me to make the appointment.)

Again I am trying to remain positive and will just have to wait to see what happens next Thursday.

So again, I am asking for your thoughts and prayers.

Backaches and Afternoon Naps

Yesterday, after visiting with friends, I noticed that my lower back was bothering me. Unfortunately, this is a symptom that I normally get the week before I start my period. 

So like always, I immediately went to my friend Google, and began researching backaches and early pregnancy symptoms. 

Here's the thing: Every symptom you search on the internet comes up as an early pregnancy symptom! 


Have a headache? You may be pregnant. 

Feeling tired? You may be pregnant.

Feeling thirsty? You may be pregnant.

And it goes on and on and on!

So, even though lower back discomfort can be an early symptom of pregnancy, it is not a common one. It did make me feel a little better, but I'm not rushing to buy any baby clothes!

This morning I went for a walk with a good friend, her gorgeous little baby and their sweet dog. It was great to see them, and to be able to talk with someone who has been there before. It took my friend 18 months to get pregnant so she understands the fear and anxiety that I experience each month that passes and we don't get pregnant. Seeing her and her daughter also gives me hope!

While on our walk she asked if I was going to take an early pregnancy test. I explained my plan, if I haven't already started my period, is to take a pregnancy test the morning that I go for my blood work.  Although, it won't be for another two weeks, I don't want to end up getting a false positive from the trigger shot. 

The trigger shot of HCG- is made up of human chorionic gonadotropin which is a hormone that I was given to mature and release my eggs. It is also a pregnancy hormone that will give a false positive on a pregnancy test. It can stay in a woman's body for up to two weeks, which is why the nurse suggested I wait until the morning of my blood work.

When I got home I ate lunch, and then because my lower back was bothering me again, I lay down on the couch, and then didn't wake up until an hour later! 

So it seems, like many toddlers, I now need an afternoon nap! 

Staying Grounded

Since yesterday's surprisingly happy news I have been on an emotional roller coaster.

I had been praying that when we went in for the ultrasound my follicles would have grown, but I never imagined that they would have grown big enough for her to tell me to trigger!

So at 11:00 p.m. last night I took my final two injections for this cycle. I was given 10, 000 IU of HCG, which I needed to divide into two different syringes. 

Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (HCG) is used to mature the eggs and 'trigger' ovulation. My eggs are supposed to be released from their follicles 40 hours after the shot. I go in for my insemination between 10:00 - 10:30 a.m. tomorrow, which is 35 hours after the injection. (This allows the sperm to already be present in my uterus so once the eggs are released they can hopefully be fertilized.)

I am trying to be optimistic, but also realistic. 

(I am just so afraid to get my hopes up too much and then be crushed if we don't end up pregnant.)

I also know that it won't be just Chris and I that will be disappointed if this doesn't happen. When I called my family to tell them how the ultrasound went they were overjoyed to hear that we still had a chance. My friends and family have been so supportive and invested in this cycle with us that I feel somewhat guilty. I don't want to let them down.

As per normal, I've read everything I could find online about IUIs, including some animated videos, so at least I feel like I am as prepared as possible for tomorrow's insemination. 

In my research I also found an interesting article that focused on visualizing the outcome you are hoping for. Similar to the book The Secret, this article talked about how you can make things happen just by visualizing them. Wouldn't that be amazing if it was true?

I'm not sure, but I figure it can't hurt trying to imagine (visualize) us getting pregnant. I think it may be similar to the power of prayer. When I spoke to my father today I mentioned that if you only needed people's prayers and best wishes, Chris and I would have nothing to worry about.

This evening while taking a walk I came upon a family. The dad was helping his daughter ride her bike, the mom was walking with a baby in a baby backpack carrier, and she was also walking a dog! They appeared to be the perfect family. I couldn't help but wonder if they realize how lucky they are.